friday the 13th: Don’t Let Your Triggers Haunt You
Bookenders, it’s Friday the 13th! Cue the dramatic music, black cats, and the totally rational fear that the day is cursed. But in recovery, we know better than to blame the calendar for chaos. Most of the time, it’s not the date that’s the problem, it’s the trigger we didn’t see coming.
Whether you're in recovery from addiction, healing from betrayal trauma, or you're just trying not to gripe at the person who forgot to take the recycles out (love you babe), today is the perfect time to check in with yourself and get ahead of a potential spiral or tiny glitch.
So, let’s ditch superstition and talk real tools for managing triggers, and focus on some of the underrated, surprisingly simple ones.
First, What Is a Trigger?
It helps if I don’t assume that everyone knows what a trigger is, so let’s start by giving a simple definition, shall we? A trigger is anything that brings up a strong emotional reaction. They are usually tied to past pain, fear, or stress. It may show up like anger, irritation, panic, or the sudden urge to emotionally retreat or escape. That escape can be our unhealthy habits or behaviors. They really love to sneak up on us for some reason. It wouldn’t surprise me if Halloween and Friday the 13th were their favorite holidays.
Sometimes, we recognize them right away. Other times (because of their love for sneakiness), we find ourselves mid-brain spiral before we realize, “Yikes on bikes... that was a trigger.”
Five Underrated Tools for Managing Triggers
1. Name the Movie You’re In
Ask yourself: “What story am I telling myself right now?”
Often, we’re not reacting to what’s actually happening, we’re reacting to what it feels like is happening based on past hurt. Naming it gives you distance. As Dr. Phil loved to say, “You gotta name it, to claim it.”
Example: “Oh, I’m in the ‘Nobody Listens to Me’ movie. Got it.” When you identify it, you can ask yourself, “What movie do I want to be the star of instead and what’s one small thing I can do right now to make that happen?” Remember, you’re the one in charge, not the negative voice in your head.
2. The Cold Spoon Trick
Grab a cold spoon from the freezer (or run one under cold water) and press it to your cheek or forehead. Sounds weird? Maybe. But cold temps activate the parasympathetic nervous system which is also known as the “chill out” switch. How many times have you heard of someone being told, “Go take a cold shower and calm down!” It’s based on this premise. Pro tip: I have an Ice Roller for my face that’s perfect for this. It's great for destressing (and for migraines).
3. Write a One-Sentence Rage Journal
I yammer on about journaling and writing a lot here because of how much helps me, but today we’re going to try something a little different. Instead of spiraling into a full emotional monologue, give yourself permission to write one unfiltered sentence.
Example: “I am so sick of doing everything for everyone and still getting attitude.”
Then stop. One sentence. It clears just enough pressure to pause and breathe without launching into full rage mode.
4. Name 3 Sounds You Can Hear Right Now
It’s a quick grounding technique that helps you shift from panic to presence. (Similar to the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 exercise we’ve talked about).
Can you hear a dog barking? The hum of the fridge? Your own breath?
Woot woot! That means you’re back in your body now and not traveling down some negative, dark path inside your brain.
5. Put on “Safety Socks”
Yes, really. If you’ve had trauma in your past (hello, most of us), wearing cozy socks can give your brain a subtle sense of safety.
It’s called bottom-up regulation, calming the body first, so the mind can follow. How many times have you heard me mention my love of warm, fuzzy socks? Now you know why!
A Reminder
You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to “just let it go.”
You do deserve tools that help you navigate anger, pain, and hard moments with care.
Final Thought
Friday the 13th might have a reputation for chaos, but so did we before we started doing the work.
Let the day be a reminder: You’re not cursed. You’re healing. And that’s the real magic. If you need a bit of help today, be sure to download the accompanying worksheet, Five Quick Surprising Tools to Tame a Trigger.
Drop your comments below! If you have any questions or thoughts, let me know. I love hearing from readers and supporting your journey. Just a heads up: I respond to all emails, except from solicitors. If you solicit me, you end up on my mailing list. You’ve been warned :)
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Sending positive vibes your way,
Laura
