Speak It Into Healing: How Affirmations Help in Recovery and Support Roles
How many of you listen to my podcast? Hmmm, seems like more of you need to hop on over and listen to my witty repertoire. Anyway, for those Bookenders who haven’t tuned in yet (I still love and appreciate your readership), I mention affirmation cards quite a bit. Did someone say too much? Never! Affirmations are the bees’ knees!
We all know that recovery and healing can be challenging, emotional, and exhausting. Loving someone through it can be just as challenging, emotional, and exhausting. Whether you’re walking your own recovery and healing path or supporting a partner, friend, or family member, the words you speak to yourself can shape your experience.
Affirmations are more than the motivational quotes we see on social media. (Yes, I’m guilty of posting them, too, but man, Canva is fun to play on!) Affirmations are intentional statements that support your mental and emotional well-being. They help reframe limiting beliefs, build resilience, and strengthen your ability to keep going. Even when things feel hard and you’re mind is going from zero to sixty.
Let’s take a look at why affirmations work, how they help in both recovery and support roles, and how to use them in everyday life.
The Science Behind Affirmations
Remember the two pathways in our brain? The positive and the negative? The positive one is lush, beautiful, and filled with healthy behaviors, while the negative one is thorny, overgrown, and filled with unhealthy crap. The more you travel down the positive path, the easier it is to make positive choices.
Your brain listens to what you repeat. When you say something often enough, it starts to feel true. That’s thanks to a process called neuroplasticity. Our brains have an awesome ability to rewire itself. Neuroplasticity means that with repetition and intention, we can create new pathways in the brain and weaken old ones that no longer serve us (lush and beautiful vs. overgrown and thorny). Think of affirmations like daily mental exercises for your mind.
The Research to Prove It
Research backs this up. A 2016 study published in Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience found that self-affirmation activates the brain’s reward system just like it lights up when we receive a compliment or eat our favorite food (did someone say caramel rice crisps?). That’s not BS; that’s biology saying, “Say more.” (Any Dr. Orna fans out there?)
In behavioral therapy, especially my favorite, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), affirmations align with a key principle: we can change how we feel by changing how we think. CBT uses similar practices like reframing and repeating truth-based thoughts to help reduce anxiety, depression, and self-doubt.
For someone in recovery, this might mean replacing “I’ll never change” with “I am learning new tools to make changes.” For loved ones, it might sound like shifting from “I have to fix this” to “I can support them without losing myself.”
Affirmations work best when they’re repeated regularly, rooted in truth, and connected to your values. They’re not about pretending everything is perfect. They’re about reinforcing the belief that change and healing are possible.
Don’t worry if you’re in a place where you feel like your values and beliefs have been compromised by things you’ve done, seen, or felt. I was there too. Your core values are still within you, and they can be restored.
How Affirmations Help in Recovery and Support
For people in recovery:
They disrupt negative self-talk
They regulate emotions during cravings or triggers
They build self-trust and reinforce a sense of purpose
They help create distance from shame-based identity (“I’m bad”) to growth-centered identity (“I’m growing”). Don’t forget what Brene Brown says about shame and guilt. Her Ted Talk helped me immensely. Especially this quote:
“Shame is a focus on self, guilt is a focus on behavior. Shame is “I am bad.” Guilt is “I did something bad.” How many of you, if you did something that was hurtful to me, would be willing to say, “I’m sorry. I made a mistake?” How many of you would be willing to say that? Guilt: I’m sorry. I made a mistake. Shame: I’m sorry. I am a mistake.”
For loved ones:
They reduce fear-based thinking
They support emotional boundaries
They remind you it’s okay to take care of yourself too
They reinforce that your worth isn’t tied to someone else’s choices
Whether you’re saying “I am capable of staying sober today” or “I can care without carrying everything,” affirmations help you return to what matters.
How to Use Affirmations in Daily Life
Start your morning with one statement that supports how you want to feel.
In recovery: “I am strong enough for today.”
As a loved one: “I am showing up with love and limits.”
Write them by hand to help them stick.
Use a journal, Post-It notes, or a workbook like this one to make your practice consistent.
Use them in the moment when emotions feel intense.
In recovery: “This will pass. I can move through it.”
As a loved one: “I can stay grounded even when things feel uncertain.”
Say them during grounding exercises.
Take deep breaths, place a hand over your heart, and speak the affirmation out loud to calm your nervous system.
And here’s a quick bonus tip from psychology: using affirmations in the present tense (not future) makes them more effective. Your brain processes “I am learning to trust myself” as more real and actionable than “I will trust myself someday.”
Examples of Affirmations for Recovery and Support Roles
For people in recovery:
I am not my past
I will make healthy choices today
I am healing
I am stronger than my triggers
For loved ones:
I will care deeply without losing myself
I am doing my best
I am allowed to rest and protect my energy
I am not responsible for another person’s recovery
For both:
I am learning to respond instead of react
I will grow through this moment
I deserve compassion
I am worthy of love
I am deserving of respect
I am valuable
Pro Tip:
I had mine on purple index cards and read mine several times a day in the mirror. I also carried them with me wherever I went just an unexpected trigger hit.
Final Thoughts
Affirmations are not magic, but they are powerful. In recovery, and in loving someone through recovery, we often feel pulled in many directions. Affirmations help bring us back to center. They help us focus on what we can control: our mindset, our words, and our next step.
They’re not about being “toxic positive” or faking it until you make it. They’re about creating enough inner safety to show up for yourself with grace and patience. Whether you’re navigating your own healing or holding space for someone else, let your words be part of what helps you move forward. If you need help getting started, you can download the accompanying worksheet to this post.
You deserve kindness from yourself.
Speak it. Practice it. Believe it.
Drop your comments below! If you have any questions or thoughts, let me know. I love hearing from readers and supporting your journey. Just a heads up: I respond to all emails, except from solicitors. If you solicit me, you end up on my mailing list. You’ve been warned :)
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Sending positive vibes your way,
Laura
