Laughing While Healing: World Mental Health Awareness Blog Series: Post #5

Healing is hard. Shocking revelation, I know. But if you're here, you already get that—and you're hoping for something that makes it suck just a little less. If you’ve visited before, you already know how much I love to laugh. How much I relied on my humor while healing after the disclosure of my husband’s pornography addiction.

Are you someone who tries to find the humor too? If you are, you’re not alone. A lot of us in recovery and healing use humor to help us through some of the toughest challenges and it’s the reason we’re still here. It’s not about making light of serious struggles. It’s about making room to breathe in the middle of them.

What Humor Isn’t in Healing

I want to be clear:

• Humor isn’t minimizing trauma.

• It’s not weaponized sarcasm or hiding behind the “I’m just joking” mask (though yep, we’ve all been there).

• It’s not putting on a smile, so people stop asking if you’re okay.

Humor in healing is the quiet, weird little giggle you get after crying your eyes out. It’s the “Did I really just say that in group?” moment. It’s finding yourself again, not just in your tears, but in your laugh lines, too.

Why Humor Works for Mental Health

Here’s the sciencey bit in our normal person language:

• Humor resets the nervous system.
  Laughter literally shifts your body out of fight/flight/freeze/fawn and into a regulated state. One good laugh can soften stress in ways even deep breathing sometimes can’t. That’s why I’m always recommending you watch a comedy or videos of puppies and kittens. They make you laugh and giggle!

• It builds resilience.
  If you can laugh with your pain, not at it, then you’ve taken your power back. That’s healing in motion.

• It connects us.
  A shared laugh creates trust and emotional safety, especially in group therapy, support meetings, or heart-to-hearts with loved ones and accountability partners. We’re looking for those precious moments of connection.

• It offers perspective.
  Sometimes that tiny flash of absurdity is the only thing standing between you and complete overwhelm. When we can find humor, it can help ground us too.

Personal Example

One of my favorite “I had to laugh to keep from crying (or completely fall apart) moments,” was when I moved after my first husband passed away. This was long before smart phones, Zillow, etc. We relied on what we were told. And what I was told isn’t what I got. Not even close.

My new home was described as a cute little converted cottage. Yeah, no. It was an illegally converted garage, complete with the garage door still intact so the city wouldn’t suspect that someone lived there. I had packed up my kids and Doberman, moved across the country, into a small two car garage. But hey, it had a kitchenette, shower, toilet and even enough room to fit my couch and two beds! Needless to say, we didn’t stay long.

My humor not only helped me through that time, but it also helped my kids too because it became an adventure for us. They were so young, they barely remember living there. While we there, we had so much fun making it a home. Besides, it was way better than the trap house I lived in before they born.

Shout out to my dad for showing me important a good sense of humor is, especially in times of stress and crisis, so I could pass that on to my children.

Humor as a Coping Tool (That’s Actually Healthy)

Let’s highlight a few ways humor can support your mental health:

• Funny podcasts or YouTube videos during a mental health dip: (Laughter therapy is a thing! I’m sure you’re tired of me saying, “puppies and kittens! Puppies and kittens!” so instead, I’ll recommend something different: if you watch Bravo television, I recommend Watch What Crappens Podcast. If that’s not your jam, then I recommend listening to Conan or Smartless. Or, if you’re looking for something recovery related, try Tom B’s talk on emotional sobriety. It may be old and it yes, it’s from 12 steps and I get that some people may not be into that, but I’m telling you, this is one of the best talks you’ll ever hear. If you do listen to it, I’d love to hear what you think. If you’re like I was, you’ll nod along as he talks.

• Inside jokes with recovery and healing friends: the ones that make you feel seen and snort-laugh. There are so many that we had. You really bond with people who understand what you’ve been through. And when you see them week after week, you learn how to laugh at even the toughest things. That’s why I never understood why they usually depict meetings as dark and dreary. Sure, some of them are going to be, but a lot of them are people sharing serious stuff, and then laughing over their dumb assery. Even my husband and I have inside jokes about recovery all these years later. Walls and windows anyone? (If you get that inside joke, please let me know!)

• Journaling with a snarky edge: “Dearest Tear-Soaked Journal, today I cried in a parking lot but hey, I put on a bra before I left the house.” If you can’t be a smart ass in your journal (or on your own blog), then what’s the point in having one? My very first blog was filled with so many curse words, I took it down. The one after that, I found my voice, and it had my usual snark, so I continued writing with humorous tone and she brings me joy.

• Creating memes about your healing process. If you have any kind of creativity, this is a perfect way to let it shine. Even if you think you don’t have any kind of creativity, you can still give this a try. Any medium will do: art therapy is healing! I use Canva to create my projects, along with coloring books.

A Quick Check-In: Are You Using Humor or Hiding Behind It?

Now it’s time for some self-honesty and deep reflection. If humor becomes your only language, then you’ve got some deep diving to do. Especially if it’s keeping you from being vulnerable, asking for help, or feeling what needs to be felt. Take a moment to pause and ask yourself:

• Am I laughing with myself… or deflecting from myself?

• Who do I trust enough to show both the tears and the jokes?

Because you deserve to be taken seriously and find things funny. You can hold both.

My husband struggled with this for quite some time. I can tell when he’s overly stressed or uncomfortable about a certain topic if he immediately starts to crack jokes about it or worse, deflects from the subject immediately.

Let’s Normalize This:

You can cry in therapy one day and laugh till your stomach hurts the next. You can grieve and make jokes about your awkward coping mechanisms. You can be deeply healing, and deeply hilarious, all at the same time.

Journal Prompts or Conversation Starters:

• What’s something about your healing journey that would be funny if it weren’t also kind of tragic?

• When was the last time you laughed with someone who gets it?

• What’s a funny or ridiculous thing you believed in early recovery that you now look back on and chuckle?

You don’t need permission to laugh.
Not from your therapist.
Not from your trauma.
Not from society.

Laughter is medicine. Sometimes it's the best kind.
And if you’ve ever made it through a panic attack and made fun of yourself for how you handled it? You’re already using it.

So go ahead and crack a smile. Healing doesn’t have to be so damn serious all the time.

If you have any questions, feel free to reach out. I love hearing from readers and supporting your journey. Just a heads up: I respond to all emails, except from solicitors. And if you solicit me, you end up on my mailing list. You’ve been warned :)

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Sending positive vibes your way,
Laura