5 Unique Self-Care Practices to Support Your Healing and Recovery
Okay, Bookenders, I know I mention self-care quite often. Like, a lot. Because self-care in healing and recovery is important. But, when you’re in the thick of healing, sometimes the usual “light a candle and journal it out” tips may not be enough. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good watermelon and lemonade candle moment. It’s under my warmer right now. But real self-care? The kind that helps you stay emotionally sober, break cycles, and not throw your phone across the room, that takes a little more creativity. Here are five self-care practices I’ve learned (some the hard way) that go beyond the surface and can help.
Put together a “Soft No” List
Self-care for people-pleasers in recovery and healing
If you're like me, you've spent a good chunk of your life saying “yes” while silently screaming “I don’t want to do this!” inside. Whether it's agreeing to help someone at work, agree to volunteer even though you don’t have the time (or energy), or getting pulled into an emotionally draining conversation after you promised yourself you wouldn’t. You’re left feeling annoyed with yourself and noticing that resentments are building up.
A “soft no” list is a game-changer. It’s a list of common asks that you tend to agree to out of guilt. Next to each one, write a gentle way to say no. That way, you’re not scrambling in the moment.
Example:
“I’d love to support you, but I’m at capacity right now. Can we revisit this next week?”
I’m big about giving back to the recovery and healing community, so it was challenging for me to learn how to say no when someone needed me to step in to takeover a group or help mentor someone. I felt a sense of guilt for not being there when I was needed. Then, one day while I was out of town visiting my family, someone asked me to sub for a group. My first instinct was to tell my family I needed to do it, but then I stepped back and thought about it. This was my family time. A time to rest and recharge. I put myself at the top of my self-care list, and let the person know that while I’d love to help, I couldn’t this time because I was with my family, but I’d be happy to help another time. So, they found someone else, and the world kept moving on as planned.
Make a 10-Minute Reset Basket
Because healing brains deserve easy wins
You already know about your recovery and healing go-bag. That’s what this is, just on a smaller scale. Think of it as a mini first aid kit for your nervous system. Fill a small basket (or tote or drawer) with sensory and emotional regulation tools: a grounding stone, a calming scent, noise-canceling headphones, a mini snack, water, or a scribbled quote that feels like a hug.
Use it when you're on edge but don't have the time or energy for a full-blown self-care ritual.
If you’ve listened to my podcast, you know all about my go-bags. One for my house, one for the car, and one specifically for recovery. Now that it’s been so long since I started my journey with emotional sobriety and I’ve healed from betrayal trauma, I don’t need all those go-bags, but I still have a drawer in my safe space with my favorite lotion, healthy snack, and a CBT deck to read. I think it’s always better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.
Schedule an Hour of “Airplane Mode Time”
A break from the world pretending it’s urgent
The reality is that if there’s an emergency in the next hour, someone will call you. The rest can wait.
Airplane Mode Time is exactly what it sounds like: one hour where your phone is off, notifications are silenced, and you let your brain breathe. No scrolling, no doom, no dopamine hits. Just… quiet.
Bonus tip: Do this before bed or first thing in the morning and watch how your baseline calm improves over time.
I confess, I’m a work in progress when it comes to this. I do great in the morning because everything is quiet already (unless my dog is snoring next to me), but at night, it’s harder for me to shake off the day. I have to use rain sounds otherwise I’m thinking about the last episode of The Bear I just watched or wondering why I love NYC Next Gen more than some of the Housewives show. (Anyone else?) So, if you struggle with this too, you can see, you’re not alone.
Write a Letter to a Future You
Because sometimes your own words are the safest ones
This one’s surprisingly powerful. Write a short letter or voice memo to the version of you who’s about to face something tough. Reassure them. Remind them of what they’ve survived. Remind them of who they are.
It’s especially helpful if you’re healing from betrayal trauma or trying to break a reactive pattern. Your future self needs your compassion more than your criticism.
I’ve done multiple versions of writing letters to myself. I’ve written to my past self, current self, and future self. It’s very cathartic.
Create a “Low Energy Day” Ritual
Not every day is for growth. Some are just for surviving kindly.
This is my favorite one because it reminds me of The Spoon Theory. We all have those days where brushing our teeth feels like running a marathon in emotional fog. Instead of pushing through or feeling like a failure, what if you honored those days with a soft, simple ritual?
Maybe it’s:
Wearing only comfy clothes
Switching to audiobooks instead of social media
Listening to your favorite podcast (I’m looking at you Watch What Crappens)
Drinking tea from your favorite mug
Doing just one thing and calling it enough
You’re not falling behind; you’re healing at the speed of safety.
One of my kids has a very stressful job. They decided a few years ago to make Sunday their day of true rest. No phone, no email, no social media, no news. Just reading and playing board games or video games. Then, when they got married, they continued the tradition with their spouse, and now child. I love that for them! Whenever I visit, it’s such a calm and peaceful day full of fun!
🧡 Final Thoughts
Self-care isn’t always spa days and smoothies. Sometimes it’s sitting with yourself in silence. Sometimes it’s not answering the text. Sometimes it’s surviving the day without betraying your needs.
Whatever it looks like for you, make it yours, and then make it sustainable.
Want more cozy, no-nonsense recovery support?
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💛 Rest when you can, and I’ll see you next time.
Warmly,
Laura
